The other day I drug myself to the grocery store. I was exhausted after having read for the equivalent of 65 people over a four day trip out of state. I just needed some milk, maybe some cat food.
All the sudden, I hear my name being called out. “Hey, Jenna!” and I turn around to see a client that I last saw over a year ago. I gave her a wide smile, happy to unexpectedly find a friendly face.
That smile changed quickly, however, when the first thing out of her mouth was a very loud proclamation about how wrong I was on a prediction. No, “Hi, Jenna, how are you?” Just, “Hey Jenna, GUESS WHAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT THE PREDICTION YOU MADE OVER A YEAR AND A HALF AGO!” she loudly proclaimed in the store.
I was so shocked and felt so assaulted that I turned on my heel and walked away. In fact, her desire to humiliate me got to me. I’ll admit it. I was crying in my car not one hour later questioning everything. Why am I doing this work? What do people really expect from me? Do people read my website at all, actually?
Or, do people just see the word tarot and reduce everything to it’s easiest trope: that cards tell fortunes?
The next morning I got an email from a client who was gushing over the fact that I was right. The guy who was a fire sign showed up just like the prediction foretold. When a prediction lands favorably, I am sometimes given this weird kind of ‘guru’ treatment as if I have a strange sort of superpower. In all honesty, I am just an uncomfortable about the positive reinforcement as I am with the negative. I don’t feel ‘pride’ for being right. Because, honestly, it is not my story, I’ve just been tasked with telling it.
As an intuitive, I am only responsible for the message.
I am not responsible for it coming true, or not coming true. I am not responsible for last minute changes in logistics or people changing their minds. I am not responsible for free will, or Divine Intervention and I am certainly not responsible for how the client will change their own actions just from getting new information. I am also not responsible for clients liking or disliking the message. People give me far too much power over their lives, and I don’t want any part of it.
What I am responsible for is to faithfully and to the best of my ability use tarot to help a person live their best life. I am responsible for reading the cards as objectively as possible. I am responsible for suspending judgement and being a conduit for whatever the Universe wants to say whether that message be slightly garbled, consoling, or difficult to hear. I am responsible for using my intuitive skills to help soften confusion when I can, to lay out probabilities as they appear, and offer suggestions as best interpreted by tarot.
I can control the question, but I cannot control the answer.
But, some people hear the word tarot and reduce me, and tarot, to an old worn-the-fuck-out stereotype. Because they want the sure thing. The right answer, the way out. Nothing in life can guarantee that kind of expectation.
Tarot usually demands more work than answers. Divination has never been about sure things, divination is about the journey: the brief, sudden, altogether mysterious conversation with the Divine.
It is far more subtle and miraculous than just laying out your future like a book report outline. Tarot shines in the subtlety of it all. Tarot is more interested in the mystery, the conversation, the unfolding. And I as a reader of tarot, find it to be far more helpful and interesting in it’s present day applications than hoping for a future to unfold as if we have no part in it.
Allow tarot to work knowing that we all have free will. That humans are pretty irrational a lot of the time. Allow tarot to speak without forcing it to be what you want. You will find it to be a far more powerful ally than you could ever imagine. Unleash expectations and like a free animal, let tarot run free and see where it takes you.
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